BREAKING NEWS: Mario turns to life of crime!

*******Just a healthy disclaimer: The man pictured is only a suspect and is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Bad Cartridge and it’s editors are not accusing anyone of anything and the purpose of this article is purely that of jest, fun and nothing malicious is intended.********

That’s right folks, he’s not so super anymore! The Toronto cop squad and The Toronto Star released the gorgeous above mug shot  following an investigation of possible arson after a suspicious office building fire in the GTA. It seems the gaming icon can fend off hoards of giant dinosaur kings and ten-year-old boys but he still can’t manage to figure out what security cameras are. Guess he’s a few bricks shy of a castle but it’s tough being a 16-bit living in a icrap world.

All assumptions at this point are that years of killing turtles and giant mushrooms has finally taken it’s tole on the famed plumber-hero and he has snapped like a dry twig. Maybe after never really getting any from a certain stuck-up virginal royal he just wants to see the world burn. (Also Prince Harry hasn’t returned his calls since Halo was relased.)

Worse still, as far as we know this digital maniac is still at large so keep your ears to the ground and your eyes firmly on your pocket-books because there is no telling where the Japanese-Italian super criminal will strike next. My guess? Syphoning gas from the winnebagos parked outside Wal-mart while preparing to steal candy from babies.

Just like Channing Tatum I knew he was too good to be true.