This is a truly neat mashup. Mario Crossover re-creates the original Mario in Flash with the ability to play as not only Mario but as a bunch of other classic NES characters. This killer list of NES heroes includes, Simon (Castlevania), Samus (Metroid), Megaman (Megaman), Bill R (Contra), and Link (Best game series ever). It is some serious fun and lovely re-created. It even has the hidden warp tubes at the end of level 1-2. As some cheesy waitress at Applebees would say, enjoy!

This fall will see a big screen adaptation of Bryan Lee O’Malley’s popular indie comic series Scott Pilgrim. To capitalize on that release, a slew of tie-ins are also in the works – including a video game. Interestingly, and true to the tone of the comic, the game will employ both pixel art visuals and 8-bit inspired music.

The title was revealed the other day at PAX East 2010. Little is know about the game, aptly titled Scott Pilgrim: The Video Game. It’s being developed by UbiSoft, looks to be some sort of hyper-realistic brawler and the music is being done by indie punk band Anamanaguchi – who according to their website “makes loud, fast music with a hacked NES from 1985.”

The theme to Scott Pilgrim was revealed during Anamanaguchi’s live show at PAX. We got video of that performance AND screen-grabbed visuals after the break.

via Attract Mode and SuperHero Hype!

For your retro fix today, we have modern games that would have sucked on Atari 2600. Games were so much simpler then. More complicated pieces of games weren’t needed. Plot, character development, and colours weren’t needed to create a wonderful game and entertain the masses. Apparently, this still applies.

This retro, open source, buzz word friendly clock is pretty wicked. Monochron, by adafruit industries, is crafty adaptation of Pong for use as a clock in which the computer plays against itself and “loses” to change the time. This is creative way to keep computers/robots busy; otherwise they’ll take over the world.

They say it takes about 2 to 3 hours to make, with a cursory knowledge of soldering and some hand tools. They sell all the stuff for this and other cool projects on their site. If you’re looking to get into basic circuitry, this could be a good place for you to start.

These images are absolutely beautiful. They remind me of being a kid. That feeling of being swept away into a magic world and all that gaps that our imaginations filled in betwen those 8 or 16 bits of pure glory.

This is characteristic of the internet right now. A seemingly random video of two people fighting on a bus, remixed to mimic Mortal Kombat on SNES. Full of win.

… The lyf so short, the craft so long to lerne, Thassay so hard, so sharp the conquering,  The dredful Ioy, that alwey slit so yerne, Al this mene I by love …

If Geoff Chaucer were around today I feel Valentine’s Day and the idea of romantic love would hold much more difficulty for his frilly medieval brain. He wouldn’t be so concerned with the celestial palace of Venus or some gaggle of horny birds as he would be with what us modern nerds struggle with this time of year. Lying to your parents over the phone by telling them that you indeed have a real girlfriend and settling in with the real February 14th task of deciding who you and your TV will actually be dating.

In other words, who is the hottest video game heroine, which one would be the best girlfriend material and which one are you going to spend Valentine’s Day with?

Romantic love might be outdated but commitment isn’t. Who would you choose???

…. Than prayde him Scipioun to telle him al, The wey to come un-to that hevene blisse …

Nariko – Heavenly Sword (2007)

Yeah she’s an obvious contender. So strong, so exotic, so smoking hot. But is she really the right choice? She’ll prove, like her game to be very beautiful but very time consuming. Women right? Am I right boys?! Nariko will require constant attention and will literally take up the entire night but it could be worth it just to see the way she moves. She is indeed a smoking hot lady but being born in 2007 means she’s only three years old and despite how hot she is, (my glasses are fogging) rest assured that no judge in the world, (Utah?) would believe the hair-brained story that you thought she was eighteen. No sir. Her fake ID might look impressive like the rest of her, (glasses are now sweating somehow) but is hard time really a way to spend the international day of affection? Because your cell-mate will certainly have a lot of affection to give. Affection and STD’s. (Probably also a frightening nickname related to how much of a bitch you are but now I’m just spit-ballin’.)

Sorry Nariko, you’re a super hot piece of tail, but I want to spend my time away from jail. You just got nexted!

… The day gan failen, and the derke night, That reveth bestes from her besinesse …

Dixie Kong – Donkey Kong Country 2 (1995)

Sure, she’s a little homely but you’re not perfect, why should you expect your girls to be? Dixie may have a little extra hair  here and there but she’s energetic, agile and athletic and is probably a demon in the sack. (The ugly French ones are always the best.) Oh and she’s tons of fun! However the best reason to spend V-Day with Dixie is that it would piss off her bosom buddy Donkey Kong. That hairy shit-eating bastard thinks he’s sooooooo freaking cool. I would LOVE to slap that smug look right off his stupid bushy face. It’s always satisfying to get revenge on an enemy but it’s important to remember that Dixie does have a boyfriend and by dating her you’re in for some real monkey business. (Eh?) There’s nothing worse than a jealous ape and if you choose to partake in Dixie Kong’s wild ride it’s going to be the first express train to feces town with her beau and personally I respect my nice sweaters too much to have them sullied by jealousy and poo.

Apologies Dixie but you are a no go for launch, (and don’t ever go to Chinatown or you’ll be a go for lunch).

… Citherea! thou blisful lady swete, That with thy fyr-brand dauntest whom thee lest …

Lara Croft – Tomb Raider (1996)

Yeah, yeah yeah I know what you’re all thinking and it’s what every other dude is thinking. That Lara Croft is a huge 10 but you’re not even going to try because every other guy knows she’s a huge 10. Well fortune favors the bold you ass so you get out there regardless, fight through the crowds of undeserving losers and you show a real woman a real good time.

She may not want to jump your bones, (let’s be real here) but at the very least she’ll respect you for trying despite her obvious hotness advantage and you may even spark up a wonderful friendship. That friendship could evolve later on into her setting you up with some of her hot, (but most likely emotionally damaged) girlfriends while she marries a greek god of a pilot or children’s brain surgeon who rescues dogs on the weekends. Just because she’ll never be attracted to you doesn’t mean she isn’t a real human being and likes having real fun.

But for the purposes of romance admitting that Croft could never be a real gf possibility is the same as renting a tux and jumping into oncoming traffic; stupid and terrible.

No dice home slice! Lara Croft is out of your league … for now.

… And in a privee corner, in disporte, Fond I Venus and hir porter Richesse …

Ms. Pac-Man – Ms. PAC-MAN (1981)

There she is! There’s our girl! Despite what you might be thinking try to avoid forced vomiting and just give her a chance. She may not be totally fit and she’s probably not the smartest ball on the court but we all know how active she is. She’s very protective and doesn’t take shit from ANYONE, living or otherwise. She’s a pill-popper so you know she’s going to be tons of fun at parties and she’s a very healthy eater. Nothing but bananas, pretzels and the odd ghost here and there. (She’s only human, I think.)

She’s fat so she’s not picky and she’s divorced so naturally she’s desperate. She must be. She likes fashion and make-up, (knows what colors best match her particular skin tone) and that bow is just darling!

Yes I think we’ve done it. So when you’re spending your Valentine’s night in your basement with a sixer and an atari game system don’t go thinking for one second that you’re settling. Not a god-damn second, you hear me?!?! Ms. Pac-man is a wonderful girl with a pure soul and a beautiful mind. And who knows, she may just surprise you… I can’t imagine how but you never know.

… For this was seynt on Volantynys day, Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make …

-The Parliment of Fowles by Geoffrey Chaucer

I saw the real-life Donkey Kong and let me tell you he is as much of a bastard in person as he is in his video games. I’m taking the subway home from work the other day, as you do, and I saw the most peculiar thing. A large, grumbling, hairy beast of a man carrying a big ol’ bag of cans, most probably homeless. I know gross right? It’s down right sickening. If you want to leave your computer and go throw up on your front lawn I wouldn’t blame you after that nauseating mental image. But trust me you’ll feel much better after doing the truffle shuffle on the FRONT LAWN of YOUR HOUSE WHICH YOU LIVE IN. Believe me when I tell you that the sight of this man was worse then the eek of a rancid shrimp cocktail, (which funnily enough was my nickname in high school).

So how does this relate to Atari’s original bad-ass Monster Gorilla? (Sorry George from Rampage but you were too little too late.)

I guess moldy soup cans weren’t doing it for Chump-Change anymore because he takes it upon himself to start harassing the people on the train. A few slimy kisses here, a couple hard gropes there and as soon as you can spit most of his end of the car has cleared. Commuters couldn’t sanitize their hands fast enough. Save of course for the one woman buried in a set of fat, pink headphones and the latest issue of ‘Get Your Head Out Of Your Ass And Take A Look Around You‘ monthly. (Vice?) So he takes her in his arms and is all “C’mon lover, let’s move to Reno and forget this noise!” Romance. 

Thank Picard the Subway Cop was near because I sure as Kirk wasn’t about to be a hero. (What!) In the blink of an eye and with a flash of his bright red coat subway cop charged the Gorilla and his new Princess Bride. Monkey Man of course decides to do the most logical thing and he starts winging cans every which way. Not just little soup or beer cans either! This monster was packing big guns in his trash bags. I nearly took a giant crushed apple juice can to the side of my pretty face. It was almost ‘good-bye Playgirl’ for me. 

I got lucky as my reflexes are shot from many years of many beers but watching Subway Cop was a down and out religious experience. Bobbing, weaving, dodging, beautiful. He didn’t get hit once, it was poetic. It was like if Robert Frost wore a fake plastic badge and beat up CHUDs for a living. He was almost there but somehow, SOMEHOW the Grizzly Adams of metro hobos managed to scamper off to the next car with his reluctant lady friend. Subway DeNiro followed close behind but something tells me unless he’s the best Subway Cop in the world the scuffle was probably going to go on for quite a bit. 

However it was Friday night and Subway Cop had really bad skin so maybe, just maybe with a little luck, a lot of patience, a three litre jug of grape soda and no girlfriend he may actually have gotten his monkey. I wasn’t going to stick around to find out though as it was friday night and I have a life. That and the fact that paralyzed with fear I was six stops off course and I really needed to double back which unless your without home is never fun.

First Person Tetris is the most fun I’ve had playing Tetris in months… maybe even years. Seriously, the concept and the execution are beautiful. If you’re looking for a good way to waste a few minutes (or hours) than I’d highly recommend it.

The nice people over at Steelhead Studio throw a party every year and this year, they went all out. Being enthusiastic gamers, they made not 1, not 10, but 100 different gaming themed cupcakes. They even make a game out of the gaming cupcakes by covering up the name until you rollover it. So, if you’re looking for a way to be entertained and get hungry at the same time, check it out.