Rant Zone: Yes, I like the iPad. Sue Me.

This week’s been rather slow in the gaming news department. Today, especially, has been completely overtaken by commentary and (mostly) debate over Apple’s newly announced tablet. Since it’s being served up as a gaming platform (as has the iPhone in recent months) I figure its only fair to weight in – even if the iPhone, and conversely the iPad, sucks dick as a gaming platform.

So, let me get this out of the way: I’m a huge Apple fanboy. I wasn’t always. But, like most people, I eventually found my way and embraced the cult of the Mac. So when I say I actually LIKE the iPad, please don’t assume its been done so blindly and without justification. The iPad IS disappointing – for an Apple product, a company that has spent the last decade setting itself up as THE technological innovator. Had this come from anyone else, it would have been hailed as revolutionary. However, it didn’t, so its no surprise most were disappointed by today’s release.

The fact is, going in, most of us in tech media knew this would be nothing more than a glorified iPhone. Even if we didn’t want to admit it. The rumors had been there for weeks. It would run on a modified version of the iPhone OS. It would retain the iPhone’s home button and basic shape. Hell, it would even have 3G connectivity. There were also rumors, from less informed sources (read: wishful fan boys), that the tablet would have a built-in camera, some sort of pressure sensitive screen (a la the Blackberry Storm) and quite possibly a device to suck your dick dry. Okay, I might have started that last rumor. The point is, we we’re all expecting a giant iPhone. But we’re ALWAYS expecting the obvious. It’s Steve Job’s, um, job… to raise that level of expectation and blow us away (figuratively). Hence, why Apple hype based hype is always the worst. It’s not generated by the company, rather, the fans.

Take for instance the iPhone announcement in January of 2007. We all knew it was coming. Leading up to the event the promise of a phone was pretty much a lock, what no one knew, was WHAT it was going to look like. So when Steve revealed a touchscreen operated smart phone, we all looked at each other and said “Only Apple, could think of this”. Had Steve simply revealed a cool looking handset with a basic keypad, it would have been – well – what we got today. The iPad is, rather ironically, exactly what everyone said it would be. Exactly what I wanted. Pretty much what nobody actually wanted.

In the days leading up to today’s press conference I was asked to sell a few people on way this Tablet was worth getting worked up over. To me, it was be the death of the netbook, a totally ridiculous device I generally compare to the plastic phone filled with candy. If Apple could deliver a 10″ touchscreen-based tablet, with easy internet, email and document viewing – then I could see a lot of people abandoning their need for a laptop. For the most part, we got that – and less than the predicted $1000 price tag (although, I would be willing to pay that much if indeed this thing would indeed suck my dick – it doesn’t, by the way). Yes, it should have multitasking. Yes, it should have Flash. Yes, it should run OSX rather than the iPhone OS. But it doesn’t. And yet, I still got the device I expected: one that relieves me from my laptop and iPhone for web surfing – both are cumbersome in their own special ways.

Likewise, I firmly believe the device has a lot of potential that’s been prematurely squandered by Apple’s need for secrecy. Had developers had more time with the device, we could easily be seeing a slew of apps in same league as the iPad specific New York Times and Major League Baseball programs. Instead we we’re given iPhone apps with an option to fill the larger iPad screen. Oh, and iWork for the iPad. Weeeee.

Frankly, if I was smart, I’d wait until Apple gets around to the second generation of the iPad. One would hope that by then the system is allowed multitasking and just about everything else its been denied today. But I’m not smart. Not because I’m ordering the thing the chance I get, but because I’m disappointed after getting exactly what I wanted. Talk about spoiled.